When You Don’t Know How to Pray

You want to talk to God, but you don’t know where to start.

Maybe it’s been a while. Maybe you used to pray easily and somewhere along the way the words dried up. Maybe you never really learned how. Or maybe you’re in such a deep place right now that every time you try to form a sentence, it dissolves before it leaves your mouth.

You sit there. Hands folded or not. Eyes closed or open. And nothing comes.

If that is you right now, can we tell you something honestly? That silence is not a failure. It might be the most honest prayer you’ve ever prayed.

The Pressure to Pray “Right”

Somewhere along the way, a lot of us picked up the idea that prayer has to sound a certain way. Polished. Structured. Full of the right words in the right order. We heard other people pray — people who seemed to have a direct line — and we wondered why it didn’t feel like that for us.

So we stopped trying. Not because we stopped believing, but because the gap between what prayer was supposed to look like and what we actually had to offer felt too wide.

Here is what we want you to hear: God is not waiting for you to get the words right. He is not grading your prayer. He is not standing at a distance with His arms crossed, waiting for you to perform.

He is closer than you think. And He already knows what you need before you say a single word.

What God Says About Your Wordless Moments

Paul wrote a letter to the church in Rome — people who were carrying real weight, real uncertainty, real suffering — and in the middle of that letter, he said something that should change the way you think about prayer forever:

“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” — Romans 8:26 (KJV)

Read the full passage on Bible Gateway — or open it in the free Bible.com app.

Read that again slowly. We know not what we should pray for as we ought. Paul — the man who planted churches across the known world, who wrote half the New Testament — said we. He included himself. He didn’t know what to pray for either.

And then the breathtaking part: the Spirit itself steps in and prays on your behalf. With groanings that can’t even be put into words.

What This Means for You Right Now

This verse tells us something most of us were never taught: your inability to find the words is not a barrier to prayer. It is the very place where the Holy Spirit meets you.

The Spirit doesn’t wait until you have it figured out. He doesn’t wait until your theology is sorted or your heart is clean or your faith is strong enough. He steps into the gap — the exact gap where your words run out — and He prays what you cannot.

Matthew Henry, commenting on this passage, observed that God does not expect us to come to Him with perfect understanding. Our weakness in prayer is not something God tolerates — it is something He designed for. He gave us the Spirit precisely because He knew we would need someone to carry what our words could not. (Matthew Henry, Commentary on Romans)

Andrew Murray put it this way: there are times when we feel as if we don’t know what we’re waiting for in prayer. And Murray said those moments may be the most important ones — because when we stop trying to direct God and instead let ourselves simply wait before Him, prayer becomes something different entirely. It becomes surrender. (Andrew Murray, Waiting on God)

Murray also wrote that God sometimes brings us to the end of our own strength on purpose. He lets us feel weary and helpless — not to punish us, but because He is “spreading His strong wings for you to rest your weakness on.” All He asks is that you sink down in your weariness and wait on Him. (Andrew Murray, Waiting on God)

Groanings That Cannot Be Uttered

There is something deeply comforting about that phrase: groanings which cannot be uttered.

It means that the deepest kind of prayer doesn’t even have words. It is the sigh you breathe when you’re too tired to explain. It is the ache in your chest that you can’t articulate. It is the moment you sit down, close your eyes, and all you can manage is God… please.

That counts. That is prayer. That is enough.

Spurgeon reminded his congregation that God does not demand your improvement — He demands your surrender. “Come,” Spurgeon said, “and the God who has been waiting to comfort you will pour His consolations into your soul like rivers of living water.” (C.H. Spurgeon, “God’s Time for Comforting”)

He has been waiting for you. Not waiting for you to get it right. Waiting for you to come.

How to Pray When You Can’t Pray

If you are in a season where prayer feels impossible, here are a few ways to begin — not as a formula, but as an open door:

1. Just show up. Sit somewhere quiet. You don’t have to say anything. Just be there. Tell God you’re there, even if that’s all you say. “Lord, I’m here. I don’t know what to say, but I’m here.” That is a complete prayer.

2. Borrow someone else’s words. The Psalms were written for exactly this. Open to Psalm 61: “Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Let David’s words carry yours.

3. Let the silence be the prayer. Andrew Murray wrote that prayer should have intervals of silence and reverence — moments where you stop talking and simply wait on God as a living Being who notices you. The silence is not emptiness. It is space for Him to speak. (Andrew Murray, Waiting on God)

4. Say one honest sentence. Not a paragraph. Not a performance. Just the truest thing in your heart right now. “I’m scared.” “I’m angry.” “I miss You.” “Help.” God can do more with one honest word than a thousand polished ones.

5. Trust that the Spirit is praying for you. This is the promise of Romans 8:26. Even when you feel like nothing is happening, the Holy Spirit is interceding on your behalf with a depth and precision that your words could never match. You are not alone in this. You are being carried.

A Prayer for Right Now

God, I don’t have the words today. You already know that. You already know everything I’m carrying, everything I’m afraid of, everything I can’t find language for.

Thank You that You don’t need my words to hear me. Thank You for Your Spirit, who is praying for me right now in ways I can’t even understand. I don’t need to understand it. I just need it to be true. And You said it is.

I’m here. That’s all I have. Receive it as enough.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

If you are struggling with prolonged feelings of disconnection, numbness, or hopelessness, please consider talking to a licensed counselor. Mind on Peace is not a substitute for professional care. The SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) is free, confidential, and available 24/7.